On Legitimate Political Parties

But they're not going to be able to support every political party! They're not going to be able to support the Nazi party!
[silence]
What!?! They're a legitimate political party!
[continued silence]
Okay, maybe I could have picked a better example...
-Matt

The Most Violent Person

Dave: My dad's not Italian, he's Puerto Rican and Irish.
Matt: That's your argument!?! ...can you even have a more violent person!?!

On "Lizard" People

Matt:

I'm pretty sure Obama is a Lizard-Person. Haven't you seen V?

Turning Latent Birther Racism Into Full Blown Racist Racism

Matt's reaction to this captioned photo:

"Hm….I thought she was going to ask to see his wang to prove he was actually black."

Matt's New Book

This was Matt's proposed title for his possible new book....

Hitler Should Have Won: How the Jews Caused Global Warming

I don't think this one requires much explanation.

Regarding Matt's Inability to Grow Facial Hair

Mike: It's your mustache which makes it really look bad.
Matt: I know, it's like a dirty Mexican mustache.

Matt, on "Korean Gold Farmers in Starcraft"

He's Korean! He's really good at RTS games!

-Matt, proving that not all racism is negative

Jew is a Verb?

Matt, Upon Repaying a Long-Owed Debt: "I wasn't trying to Jew you..."

Jar Jar Binks

When contemplating what Jar Jar's accent was, Matt had this to say:

Me: Poor Jar Jar, he/she/it was just misunderstood.

Matt, the Racist: right, because he had a fucking jamaican or some shit accent. he was probably a dirty puerto rican actually.




Wow.

Who Would Miss It?

Matt, on the effects of nuking the country of Nigeria:

"Who would miss it? That's the case with most of Africa."

Matt on Black History Month

Matt sent this link around the office. Thus he is a racist.

Matt on Movies That Make Him Sad

"I cried during Schindler's List. ...because Hitler lost!"

Dinosaurs Come From Jews

Matt: "Jews created the Dinosaurs."

Apparently, dinosaurs are the biggest hoax in history. All the fossils were created and planted to discredit Christians who believe the Earth is ~6000 years old.